trying to avoid blogging about whatever that happened because that in itself is some kind of finality 

when every single word and action has its purpose 

the sobbing every night the butterflies in my tummy going to miss it so so much 

going to wake up earlier to watch 41st have their morning briefings tomorrow; so f-ing sad and lost gonna cry like a dog (honestly, so emotionally weak now can do that any time) 

did I do good? could I have been better? where do I go now?

2 days ago
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Bad day. Come on brownie.

1 week ago
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And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.

Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore (via larmoyante)

I can relate to this very well right now, just ughhhh

(via provokedsmiles)

1 week ago
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(And I thought it was just me -)
Feeling so horrible and responsible for what happened, like maybe we could have been better prepared or tried harder or I don’t know

Wanted to cry

At one point it almost became like a bunch of desperate people losing their cool and trying to get attention

We/I need to do better than this

I think “humbled” is a subtly brilliant and apt description for whatever Im feeling too -always so encouraged when I see teams prepare for season /huge respect and vb please pleaseeee

Note to self- o m g I was actually staring with a tiny bit of curiosity and 酸酸的feeling

1 week ago
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I’m just going to make it happen 

it has to happen 

one more day so bloody worried but I know WE (and I) CAN DO THIS 

#noneedtosleep #hatemeifyoulike 

1 week ago
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for the past two weeks I’ve been praying this to be over quick so that I can catch up on sleep and life but I’m brainwashed - THIS IS LIFE, and I am not ready for the 4pm announcement tomorrow

how can we be preparing for them to takeover when I’m not prepared to let go (?!)

I’m excited yet I’m scared, and I don’t know what to feel 

won’t be there during the announcement of results tomorrow - brings back memories to exactly one year ago when some of us weren’t in school to hear them either. what a cycle it is going to end like how it started or maybe in escaping the beginning and the end it’s never here nor gone and we’ll never have to learn to let go

LAST LAP 40TH :’)’:

1 week ago
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Tired as —— but honestly speaking, I would do this again. 

so teary all day everyday (seriously) :’)’: 

1 week ago
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Maybe it’s just me but I tend to connect events to particular songs. Like I’d mentally associate the tune, the beat and lyrics all to the memories of the occasion.

please tell me I’m dreaming

1 week ago
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