trying to avoid blogging about whatever that happened because that in itself is some kind of finality
when every single word and action has its purpose
the sobbing every night the butterflies in my tummy going to miss it so so much
going to wake up earlier to watch 41st have their morning briefings tomorrow; so f-ing sad and lost gonna cry like a dog (honestly, so emotionally weak now can do that any time)
did I do good? could I have been better? where do I go now?
Bad day. Come on brownie.
(And I thought it was just me -)
Feeling so horrible and responsible for what happened, like maybe we could have been better prepared or tried harder or I don’t know
Wanted to cry
At one point it almost became like a bunch of desperate people losing their cool and trying to get attention
We/I need to do better than this
I think “humbled” is a subtly brilliant and apt description for whatever Im feeling too -always so encouraged when I see teams prepare for season /huge respect and vb please pleaseeee
Note to self- o m g I was actually staring with a tiny bit of curiosity and 酸酸的feeling
I’m just going to make it happen
it has to happen
one more day so bloody worried but I know WE (and I) CAN DO THIS
for the past two weeks I’ve been praying this to be over quick so that I can catch up on sleep and life but I’m brainwashed - THIS IS LIFE, and I am not ready for the 4pm announcement tomorrow
how can we be preparing for them to takeover when I’m not prepared to let go (?!)
I’m excited yet I’m scared, and I don’t know what to feel
won’t be there during the announcement of results tomorrow - brings back memories to exactly one year ago when some of us weren’t in school to hear them either. what a cycle it is going to end like how it started or maybe in escaping the beginning and the end it’s never here nor gone and we’ll never have to learn to let go
LAST LAP 40TH :’)’:
Tired as —— but honestly speaking, I would do this again.
so teary all day everyday (seriously) :’)’: